Wednesday, 15 October 2014

Little Eight Year Old Bones

On Friday 19th September, like so many other rebellious butterflies, my heart finally gave way to the sadness welling up inside and I took to my bed to sob in broken exhaustion. I can never express how grateful I am to the many friends from across the world, of all political persuasions and none, who sent emails, messages or picked up the phone to tell me simply that they were thinking of me. It really helped and I am sure every person involved in the campaign had that same heartache and has been renewed by someone special who allowed them to feel love amid despair.
One message broke my heart though. For lying in my bed, a little line came through from my precious Amelie who used her mum's old phone to send a bbm. It simply read: 
 "Mum, I'm so sorry that it's a No and I don't want you to feel sad about it. Love Amelie, the Ninja! xxxx

Nothing could have meant more to me but as she came later to try to stop my tears, I felt a new pain. I only hope that she does not understand its truth.

Little Eight Year Old Bones

I cannot look in the eyes
Of those arms which come to comfort
Her mother, so broken
From dreams, early wakings stole.

Though for me she tenders, to
Wipe away my sorrow,
I must conceal the agony,
That it is for her I weep.

Little eight year old bones,
Your heart would stretch them to infinity,
Your courage and compassion
Will always make me proud.

But we failed you. I know
Such cruel feelings will not leave me.
No blame, fault or explanation
Can un-sing September’s song.

If I could bury a seed
Far away from germination,
Hide it blindly from your heart,
That no roots would there entwine.

I do not want your childhood to
Rue this misadventure.
Though your future may be stolen,
MY task it is, to steal it back.

It must not be yours.
Nor to your generation,
Can we leave this un-won legacy
Dearest innocent and friend.

Cocoon yourself my comforter,
Feed on your mother’s hope not tears,
When we have swallowed up our sorrow,
Our wings again will conquer fear.